Thoughts on Being an Introvert

Thoughts on being an Introvert - Solitude matters

I recently made the decision to start a new series here on the blog. A series about life, but mostly about life as an introvert.

It’s not some taboo thing to shy away from. It’s who I am. So why not connect with other like-minded people, like yourself, and chat about all the wonderful perks of being an introvert!

First off, not all introverts are shy or socially awkward, like the stereotype portrays us be. We can be fun, outgoing, and far from boring. It just takes the right people and environment to make us feel comfortable enough to be our true selves.

Thoughts on being an Introvert -It's okay to be an introvert

What does it mean to be an introvert?

Introverts crave solitude – I enjoy being around my closest friends and family, chatting for hours, and catching up on what’s going on in your lives. But I have my limits. After a few hours of social interaction, I need time to recharge, time to be alone with my thoughts, and time to do something I enjoy, like baking or reading.

Introverts dislike large groups of people – I am my most uncomfortable when I’m within a crowd of people. I prefer one on one time with someone, talking about things I’m passionate about.

Introverts are slow to react – I need time to sit with my thoughts before acting on them. It takes me quite a while to formulate a decision on something, especially if it’s a major decision. I need to study my ideas, weigh the pros and cons, and then study the ideas some more.

Introverts are great listeners – I have been told that I’m a great listener and supportive friend. I’m also the type of person who never offers unsolicited advice. If you don’t ask for my opinion, you won’t get it.

Benefits of being an introvert

Introverts tend to have subtle talents, that when harnessed, come through as great strengths. Taking a few extra minutes to think about what you want to say means you are making mental connections and your answers will be of more substance.

Being self-sufficient is also a huge advantage. You don’t have to rely on someone’s opinion of you and instead, you can focus clearly on your goals and achievements for the day.

You don’t seek attention or need to be social. This allows you to closely focus on relationships and friendships that have depth and meaning.

Be proud of your introverted nature. You never know who you may inspire!

Thoughts on being an Introvert - Be an Inspiration

Be proud of your introverted nature. You never know who you may inspire!

26 Comments

  • Manali@CookWithManali

    I most definitely agree with everything you wrote Jen! After spending 3 days with you at the conference, I can definitely say you are a great listener and also a great friend. You are a lot of fun and not socially awkward at all. But yes like you said, you do need a little “me time” at the end of it. And I am sure your friends and family give you that much needed time when you need it! I really loved reading your thoughts, like I always have! PS: I love this series!

  • mira

    Love your new series Jen! It was fun reading ! And I can relate to some of the things you said, I do need some me time, too! Would love to read more and also meet you in person one day!

    • Jen

      I never fought against it, but I didn’t realize I was an introvert until well into my adult years. Now that I understand more about introversion, I’ve embraced it more. I’m so grateful the network of fellow introverts I have to connect with!

      • Monique

        In retrospect I don’t either..but my first manager..the one that hired me..was such a great mentor..
        I was so fortunate to have worked with 95% nice clients.
        I couldn’t wait to give them their housewarming gift.:)
        I am much more introverted now..much.

  • Danielle

    I can completely relate to all of this, Jen! I feel like people tend to think I’m shy at first, but I’m definitely not when I’m in a situation that I’m comfortable in. You’re definitely not alone 😉

  • Stephanie Wolfe

    I’d like to comment to Denise @ Sweet Peas & Saffron’s post: I completely understand! I’m clearly an introvert but have just discovered it recently! I read The Quiet Revolution and it BLEW my mind!!! I know I’ve been fighting it for a very long time because I feel like I’m weird and people don’t get it. I really only have a few friends that I hang out with and even then, it’s not very frequent (although mostly because of schedules). I feel just like you, Jen – I LOVE spending quality time with my friends and my family, but after a few hours, I’ve had enough. The truth is, I’m happy when I have lots of quiet time but I can’t seem to shake the feeling of being “different” and the feeling that I’m so specific about what’s in my comfort zone, that no one wants to bother with hanging out with me. I have tried to look into finding Introvert groups to connect with in my area to have a better sense of belonging, but haven’t found any so far. And since I don’t have any support group that I connect with, so I’m VERY grateful I stumbled upon your site, Jen! I’ll be following you and really appreciate your post today. I definitely feel less alone 🙂 Bless you!

    • Jen

      I’m so glad you are here, Stephanie! I can 100% relate to how you feel about being indifferent. I felt that way for so long. People often mistake me for being stuck up because I just don’t like to hang and talk. I can only do that with people I’m really close to and it takes me years to develop that level of comfort with someone. But even then, I have to have a whole lot of quiet time or else I get cranky and turn into someone unpleasant to be around. The hardest part is getting your family and friends to understand and respect the fact that you NEED to not talk or be talked to in order to recharge. This makes it hard for me to make friends, which I’m okay with because maintaining multiple relationships is exhausting. Maintaining a marriage stretches me to my limits sometimes and there’s hardly enough enegry left in me to nurture outside relationships. It’s hard sometimes but there are plenty of people out there who are just like us, so you are definitely not alone!

  • becky

    What you’ve written above totally describes me! I especially appreciate the part about ‘Benefits of Being an Introvert’. I never thought about what the benefits might be! I’m sharing this article with my daughter(also an introvert).
    (And I love to bake!)

  • SheilaK

    Oh I love you and I don’t even know you!
    I too am good with a group for a few hours then it’s like I’ve given all I have and now I need quiet!
    It’s why mommy has to take a walk by herself sometimes or retreat to the bathroom and say “no one knock on the door unless your hair is on fire”!

  • Rachel @ Bakerita

    I read this post the other day and it totally resonated with me, but I forgot to leave a comment! Your words seem to fit my feelings to a T – I’ve always been introverted, and have seem to become even more so as I’ve gotten older…but I’ve also gotten more okay with that part of myself, which allows me to connect more deeply to those who I do connect with…even though I always want to hide in my room after a long day surrounded by people, haha. It’s always nice to be reminded of how many of us there are 🙂 if you haven’t read the book Quiet by Susan Cain, I definitely recommend it! It gives a wonderful perspective on being introverted. Happy Monday, Jen!

    • Jen

      It’s great to not feel so alone in needing to be alone. I love that there are so many of us and we get to connect through the great platform of blogging!! I actually own Quiet. I purchased it the day it was released and just adore Susan Cain! She’s the reason my eyes opened up to the fact that it’s perfectly okay to be introverted.

  • Andrea

    Thank you so much for this post, look forward to the series! I’ve always been an introvert too but also didn’t realize it until somewhat recently. And I’m 43, lol! I just always thought I was shy and quiet, which I still can be, but agree around the right group of people I am so different. I’ve worried people thought I was stuck up or not friendly but as I get older the less I care. I’m not either of those things and those that truly know me understand.
    Luckily I have my ‘dream job’ of being a SAHM, even better now to older kids in school all day. I”m sure a lot a people don’t understand how I can be happy to often spend hours and hours alone but again I don’t really care. 😉 It can be tough sometimes being married to a more extrovert type husband but I feel we balance each other out. And he understands why I need to ‘hide’ up in our room a lot to read. 🙂

    • Jen

      Don’t feel bad, Andrea. It took me a long time to realize it as well. I was so quiet in grade school, my teachers thought I was mute. Every year my mom had to explain to the teachers that I was “shy” and wouldn’t open up in a class setting. So for the longest, I thought my quietness was shyness. It was about 5 years ago when I realized I’m actually introverted and not shy!
      It’s great that you get to be a SAHM! I know you enjoy all the quiet time you get throughout the day! It certainly is a dream come true for us introverts. And I completely relate to being married to someone who needs more interaction. My husband is also introverted but I’m the one person he “wants” to be around ALL the time and he doesn’t understand that I’m a bit further on the scale of introversion than he is. I love him dearly, but I need my space.

  • trish

    Thank you for starting this series, Jen! I stumbled upon your blog via foodgawker and I was so glad I did! Not just because of your amazing food photos and recipes, but also about your thoughts about being an introvert.

    “…not all introverts are shy or socially awkward, like the stereotype portrays us be. We can be fun, outgoing, and far from boring. It just takes the right people and environment to make us feel comfortable enough to be our true selves.”

    I couldn’t agree with you more on this one!

  • Sandra Roberts

    As a Introvert it made my life a bit difficult in childhood, being quit a bit older then those I see on this post, in my youth they thought there was something wrong with being so “shy” they called it “high Strung” or “Anti Social”. None of which were true, I just preferred my solitude and quiet, something I got very little of being the youngest of 7 children. I have always been at peace with that part of my personality. I am definitely more well read then most people and Like many other Introverts I find great joy in gardening, art, and cooking. My circle of friends is small but they are all true friends and there’s no Drama’s greater then a failed recipe or a gardening issue to deal with. Life is Peaceful and Pleasant more often then not. I live out in the country surrounded by farms with my husband and our two babies (a Siberian Husky and a Bolognese) It is so nice to see another person who is finding their peace with this personality trait

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